Musings of an Anomaly.

Who am I? I'm an anomaly. Check the "You Want To Know About Me" section for more info. This is my place to play with my desires. It's MOST DEFINITELY nsfw, so if you're under eighteen, GTFO. You can also ask me anything. Go on, I don't bite. Hard.

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You want to know about me?

Thirty Eight Reasons Why I’m Awesome. 

Written by my best friend. She sums it up best.

1.  You are generous beyond measure!  I mean, Home Depot doesn’t even make a measuring tape that long.

2.  You have the sexiest gams!  They remain ever on my “Weird Science” create-a-girlfriend-not-a-nuclear-missile program!

3.  You stick to your guns… your figurative guns.  Although, if you had a permit to carry firearms, I’m quite sure you would stick to your literal guns as well.

4.  You are strong…  like a Venti quad expresso!

5.  You have connected me to missing links from my past and introduced me to new beginnings in my future.  That’s Circle-Of-Lifeish, dammit!  There should be a Disney flick produced about you, and a Broadway musical to follow!

6.  You are courageous!

7.  You are a loyal friend who has stuck with me through thick and thin…  but mostly thick!

8.  You have intoxicatingly beautiful blue eyes (which might prove helpful with 32 on the list.)

9.  You are committed to having fun!  It’s as though your mind is a traveling carnival providing neon thrills for only four tickets per ride (minus snaggle-toothed carnies of course).

10.  You are forgiving…  sometimes granting undeserved second and third chances.

11.  You are always open-minded, never closed-fisted.

12.  You maintain confidentiality which is great considering you know all my dirty secrets!

13.  You inspire others to be better.  Or at least, you inspire me.

14.  You are a hard worker.

15.  You are a nurturer.  You don’t adopt multiple children from third world countries like Angelina, but you take care of your people - your dogs, your friends, your friends’ dogs.

16.  You are a lover of animals (and some might say…  an animal of a lover!).

17.  You aren’t fake, remaining true to yourself - whether that’s exhibiting the brash behavior of a young rebel or the gracious demeanor of a schooled debutante.

18.  You keep striving to make your life better and better each day.  I know this because I see the changes you’ve made in your life throughout the years, another testament to your positive influences on others. 

19.  You make others feel special and loved just by being yourself!

20.  You are funny as hell!

21.  You can drink me under the table!

22.  You value family and friends.

23.  You party like it’s 1999 even though that was over a decade ago. (And I mean that in a good way!)

24.  You are helpful (proven when I am dumbfounded by newfangled technology and you help me along or just plain do it for me).

25.  You make me proud to call you my friend.

26.  You make perfect gravy!  I offer strawberry preserves with flaky biscuits each Sunday morning after yet another failed attempt at skillet gravy.  The result is always dirty bacon grease and clumps of bubbling flour.  Mmm…  Kim makes the nastiest-tasting chewy gravy!

27.  You go for it.

28.  You pick out the best shoes!  Speaking of shoes, I wish I could go see SATC with you.  I didn’t really want to see it but Rusty keeps teasing me that all girls will go see it because they are supposed to…  and that they will all go with their girlfriends… and then gossip about their boyfriends afterward.  And he says that to me every time that commercial comes on!  So know I really do want to see it…  by all my girlfriends are down there!

29.  You continue to love even though you have been hurt before.  That takes all kinds of guts!

30.  You are incredibly saucy, contrary to your picky taste in seasonings!

31.  You encourage me to be a better person.

32.  You intimidate people and that’s very cool because I don’t have the knack to scare with simply a look.  You can beat the shit out o’ folks with a mere glance in their general direction.  It’s an inherent skill which is often confused with “assertiveness” but make no mistake about it; occasionally you do intimidate.

33.  You are assertive when you aren’t busy intimidating!  =)

34.  You are a lover of music and your soul dances to it but not like Elaine on that episode of “Seinfeld.”  More like Pee Wee in his classic”…Big Adventure” (and wearing the white platform shoes too)!

35.  You are beautiful. 

36.  You throw the best parties!

37. You represent! When you traipse across the globe and I can’t be with you, I don’t feel jealousy. I feel contentment in your representation of smart, sassy, southern-bred American girls and part of me feels like I am there experiencing it with you.

38. You give me tough love when no one else will. Thanks for telling me like it is in a loving way, M!